What makes for a happy relationship? What are the secrets? How can you establish a dream marriage?
You must believe that you have every chance of being happy! I know it can be really tough and so stressful to deal with relationship problems.
So, this article is fully loaded with tips and 'secrets' to help you to have the best possible chance of creating a happy marriage or fantastic long-term relationship.
The recipe for a happy relationship or marriage.
Of course it’s vital that you start with some common prospects. Shared values and beliefs without a doubt strengthens a relationship.
Beyond that, I’m assuming
that you’ve already filtered out unsuitable partners (if not, try checking your compactibilty test.) So now you’ve established – or you’re in the process of establishing - a great long-term relationship, with or without a view to getting married.
Join me now to discover the key secrets of a happy relationship…
Attention - Fulfill essential emotional need
The way couples give and receive attention is The most important factor in an intimate relationship. As human beings our need for attention overrides any other need. So, simply by giving your partner attention you’ll do your relationship or marriage a wealth of good.
The secret is that it has to be the kind of attention that your partner values. So for example, showering your partner with kisses at every opportunity may feel great to you. But that might make your partner feel overwhelmed. So don't be surprised if this hampers intimacy rather than promotes it. The secrets to a happy relationship lie in your paying attention to what your partner would really like.
Here are some tips on how to give your partner some loving attention:
- send a card , when it’s not expected - it takes so little effort and can have such a positive impact
- send romantic texts
- leave 'love notes' or cards in briefcases, lunch boxes, pockets etc.
- tell your partner what exactly you love about him or her and ...why that’s important to you, rather than just saying you love them.
- flirt with your partner in the way that you know he or she appreciates (not in the way it suits you) – regardless of how long you have been together
- continue to invest time in novel activities, outings and experiences (this stimulates the dopamine circuit, which helps to create that wonderfully exciting romantic feeling)
- contribute to telling the story of your relationship in a special journal - create a record of all the positive experiences you have together
All the following tips in this article on the secrets of a happy relationship or dream marriage are examples of how to give your partner loving attention too. Don’t forget - giving each other attention implies giving generously of your time.
Helpful non-verbal communication
The purpose of communicating isn't only to pass on information. You also communicate to create a sense of intimacy both emotionally and sexually.
Communication can be divided into verbal communication and non-verbal communication -
Both often overlap, but let's break them down even further. Verbal communication consists not only of talking and listening, but also of reading and writing.
Verbal communication can happen face-to-face, via emails or texts, or any hand-written messages.
See now how many opportunities you have to create that intimacy and those special feelings? Use all of them to create your recipe for a happy relationship.or marriage
Some other ingredients for a healthy happy relationship and a dream marriage:
Look into each other's eyes(not with unnecessary lust) - you'll see couples do it when they first fall in love. Gazing into your partner's eyes really 'affirms' him or her
Hold, stroke and massage hands (and feet - when appropriate!)
Touch in many unexpected ways - without making it sexual…as well as making sure you’re in a suitable environment! Touching stimulates the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which creates a sense of trust and security
For touching to really work its magic – with or without sexual connotation - both of you need to have the intent to please one another. That really is one of the secrets of a happy relationship or marriage. It needs sensitivity and possibly a willingness to move out of your comfort zone - even if slowly... Try not to be selfish by wanting to have it your way all the time.
It’s also very important that you’re sensitive to your partner’s needs. You or your partner may have grown up in a family where people were just not used to being tactile, so be aware of how it makes you both feel.
Have you or your partner been subjected to inappropriate touching in the past? If so, any touching - hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding hands and so on - may sadly come with a great deal of anxiety. I really know about this problem from experience. I just want you to know that you can overcome this problem. Do consider talking therapy - (relationship) counselling can make a real difference.
Helpful verbal communication
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."
- Anonymous
check out several pages on this website with relationship advice. They all contribute to your knowledge, awareness and understanding of (relationship) problems and situations. All of that can improve your empathy and compassion, which in turn improves how you communicate with each other.
Sharing - giving and receiving
Simple sharing is all it takes for a happy relationship. It can make the mundane special, the excitement unforgettable and the distress bearable.
Try sharing:
chores – to make the boring stuff 'manageable'
new activities – to stimulate the dopamine circuit in the brain, which encourages feelings of romantic love. This in turn stimulates the sexual organic circuit (in men and women), which creates the right 'chemical' environment for a possible sexual encounter
self-disclosure - talk about what’s going on for you. This kind of sharing is different for men and women. Women can learn to accept that men do it differently, and men can learn from women how to create intimacy without sex. (Clearly I am generalising here!)
Maintain your sense of humour
Oh ... how a smile can change the meaning of just about everything! It lightens the mood and improves circumstances simply by changing your perception. It can also normalise things, as well as potentially create a sense of togetherness.
How much happier could you be if there was more laughter in your relationship? In my view humour is THE secret to a happy relationship or dream marriage.
Be aware though - some people are genetically predisposed to not understand the re-interpretation of a 'serious' thought, circumstance or experience into something humorous. They have a tendency to take everything literally and have great difficulty in seeing the 'funny side'.
photo provided by freedigitalphotos.net: by photostock.
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